Reading this now, how often do you think you spend time alone? Probably not much, even just sat on the sofa scrolling through social media is not necessarily spending time alone. But this is something that's so important in this modern day and millennial world.
Spending time alone boosts our self worth, it boosts our confidence and the most important? It gives you time to learn to get to know and love yourself. Yes YOU!
Learn and love what makes you happy, what makes you tick, what your passions are, what makes you motivated so that you can be a better person, a better worker, a better friend, have better relationships or be a better business owner. Put it this way, if you don't spend time with yourself how do you expect other people to spend time with you too? If you don't really know yourself, how do you expect other people to really invest in you when they probably don't really know you either.
It will also help you to feel genuinely more relaxed and more tolerant to other people and situations, help you learn how you will respond to different things. It will help you understand more of what you would like to achieve in life, how you would go about it, really think things through.
Most importantly, it will help you learn to love yourself, love your own company. Really get to know your best friend who stares at you in the mirror everyday.
I mean i know the thought for some people can be quite scary, doing things alone, visiting places alone but your confidence will rocket through the roof!
I want you to step by step take yourself out on these dates listed below - write them down on your phone or on a piece of paper and after you have completed that date, write down how it made you feel, write down if anything came from it i.e ideas for the future, letting go of someone in life, finding a new love for something.
See it as a little life task, and when you get to number 10 that you have accomplished something great! What is there to lose?
1. GO ON A LONG WALK - Might be a really simple one, and it may seem like an easy one but for some it won't be and trust me it's important, and i want you to do this a lot if you have any chance at finding yourself.
Getting out into that fresh air alone, with your own thoughts, no social media, watching the world go by. It can do wonders for you and learning who you are.
2. RETAIL THERAPY - I mean, as a girl who loves to spend money i find this one easy. BUT...you have to remember not everyone is even brave enough to go shopping on their own. I'm not encouraging you to go out and spend loads of money, I simply mean just going out into the shops on your own, taking notice of what sort of things stand out to you, what styles your attracted too etc. Even if it's just a little window shopping, really just take note of what you like and what type of shops you like to go in and what makes you feel good!
3. RIDE SOME PUBLIC TRANSPORT - This is one that i personally would find hard, i don't know why, i guess it's just comforting knowing you can get in your own car and drive everywhere. So i want you to catch a bus or a train, alone. It doesn't matter where you go, get off at the next step and kill number one and walk home. Or sit on a train for an hour just watching the world go by, reading a book, studying the people that get on and off. It may be a strange one but being brave to muster public transport alone if it's not something you really do will help with your confidence massively!
4. GO FOR A MASSAGE OR BEAUTY TREATMENT - Could be an easy one, could be a hard one. i guess it depends who you are who is reading this right now! Walking into a salon where you don't know anyone can be daunting, especially as it's usually a female dominant work place but you have to remember they are there to make you feel good. Book yourself a massage or even just a manicure. Go it alone, don't ask a friend or family member to go with you. Create new conversation with your therapist, ask them what they like doing in their spare time and maybe they'll ask you and you can see where this is going right................................
5. TAKE YOURSELF FOR COFFEE AND CAKE - Who ever goes to Starbucks and sees that person sitting alone and kind of wishing you were brave enough to do that yourself? i know i do, and i know i actually do this a lot. (I've just never treated myself to cake) but now i have written this i definitely will. Being brave enough to sit in such a public place where human traffic is huge and people walk in and out all day will do wonders for your self confidence. Again it will also help you understand yourself, get used to your own company, enjoy the present moment and just take it all in.
6. GO SOMEWHERE LIKE SUBWAY FOR FOOD - i mean it doesn't just have to be subway, it could be McDonald's or it could be your local cafe. But i want you to sit in. Order your food, sit in on your own and eat it. No distractions. No one to talk too. Just you, your food and the people to watch around you. Take in the tastes of the food, do you even like it? or do you just order it because you think you should.
7. GO OFF TO THE BEACH OR SIMILAR - it may be a lake, it may be a huge public park. This was something i did recently but it wasn't on purpose, it was mainly to pass the time. I walked round a huge public park, in a city centre alone and at first i felt very vulnerable. Are people staring at me because i look lonely? are people staring at me because i look scared? Are people wondering what im doing here?
But then as time went on and i had been there longer than 5 minutes, i actually loved just walking around on my own, i felt confident that people were staring at me wondering why i was alone. I was alone and it didn't even matter? i sat on a bench for a good half an hour and watched the world go by, this made me realize soon enough that i actually love spending time alone, and my confidence just grows and grows when it comes to doing things on my own!
8. TAKE YOURSELF TO THE CINEMA - Now this is number 8 for a reason......it's a scary one right? It's something i have never done but i've always wanted to do it. It doesn't have to be peak time, it could be in the middle of the day but how amazing does being in the cinema, eating snacks with no distractions really sound? Frigging awesome doesn't it??
This is a big step for the next level of bravery, but i think we should love ourselves enough and be brave enough to go and watch a film on our own!
9. TAKE YOURSELF TO A RESTAURANT FOR LUNCH/TEA - Another hard one, im not sure which i find more daunting. Probably number 9. Seriously a restaurant on your own, the thought does slightly concern me. But guess what? im going to do it, im going to work my way down this list just like you, and im going to be brave enough to go out for lunch or tea and sit in a proper restaurant on my own. Not just a small cafe or a fast food spot, a real sit down meal!
10. GO ON A DAY OUT SOMEWHERE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN (FOR THE WHOLE DAY) - I find this one the most exciting, maybe because i don't know where im going to take myself! Maybe Whitby, maybe Knaresborough, maybe devon, who knows? but il find somewhere when i get down to doing number 10.
A whole day alone, with no one else you know. Walking the streets alone, walking into cafes and ordering food alone, maybe getting onto public transport alone. This should be the easiest one because you will of done all of the above and then you get a whole day of it, in a completely new environment. Maybe somewhere you've always wanted to visit but no one has ever come with you? This is your opportunity. Maybe take a book, find a bench and read. Maybe take a pad, find a cafe to sit in and write some notes, write something else that you feel inspired to accomplish!
If you do actually follow through with this list, i would love to know!
Fire me over an email at firstname.lastname@example.org - or maybe tell me what stopped you from completing them all. Have you overcome any fears? Has it helped you in anyway?